What Your Bearded Dragon Wishes You Knew

Your bearded dragon has been silently judging your every move.
Now they finally speak.

This isn’t your usual care guide.

It’s a funny, brutally honest, and slightly annoyed rant from your beardie’s point of view — telling you what you’ve been doing wrong (and how to fix it).

You’ll learn:

• Why your beardie hates being grabbed like a plush toy
• What “I’m not cold, I’m dying” really means
• Why your salad game is weak
• How to stop believing dumb internet myths
• And how to go from “meh human” to “favorite human”

It’s for beginners, lazy Googlers, loving owners, and anyone who’s ever said “he’s just chilling” when their lizard was actually screaming inside.

If your bearded dragon could slap you with his tail and yell "READ THIS!", this is the book he’d pick.

Perfect for:

• New beardie owners
• Owners who thought they knew what they were doing
• Parents who bought the lizard “for the kids”
• Reptile lovers who want a laugh with their learning

✅ Instant PDF download

📱 Works on phone, tablet, or desktop

⏱️ Quick, easy, and super readable — even if you're feeding worms with one hand

Your beardie’s been waiting for this. Don’t keep them annoyed any longer.